Nearly 10 Years

It seems lately, lots of people are reflecting on the last decade. I have a friend who posted 9 lists reflecting all that God has brought her through, grown her through, and revealed himself through over the last 10 years. It was amazing for me to read. We have been friends for 4+ years and I think the world of who she is and all that she has done in my life. Reading them makes me realize more how BIG God has been in her life and in who she is today. I love that about her and so much look forward to being her friend through this decade ahead.

In all that...God has really been tugging on my heart to reflect back on my last 10 years and I am not sure why, but I am just not making the time for it. Well, if I am honest, I think I do know why...but that's another post for another day. Let's just say in summary...I'm A Runner (not the athletic kind).

In our staff meeting this week, I realized (not that I ever really forget) that in March 2010, it will be 10 years since I chose myself over life, my fears over God's love and gave up one of the most precious gifts God has given me. I let my pride and fears drive me deeper into sin that would forever change my life and leave a hole in my heart for my precious baby, John Michael. THANKFULLY my story does not end there!! The same God that has been BIG in my friend's life, has been BIG in my life too these past 10 year. I'll admit it took Him allowing 6 years of depression, 6 month of Celebrate Recovery, 3 rounds through Forgiven and Set Free, a community of loving, godly friends, several books & bible studies and so much more to see Him and let in. But as He knew He would, He got my attention. Because that's who He is...patient, kind, loving, faithful, unchanging, sovereign, good, wonderful, counselor, mighty, creator, healer, sustainer, King and Father. And I need all those qualities of Him just to make it through each moment. Thank you God for loving me when I did not love you and for never giving up on me. 

I wish that I had something BIG to offer him for all he has done for me...total and unfailing devotion comes to mind.  But I still wrestle tons, asking lots of questions and sometimes battling doubt.  But He reminded me this week, that it's just not over yet.  He's still growinging, teaching and revealing himself in my life. I just need to keep giving him room.  Father, help me give you all the room you need!

My trip to see baby Dean

 

I recently took a trip to Illinois to visit my new nephew Dean.  It was a quick trip and lots of fun seeing Logan and Laura enjoying being parents.  I tried to get some photos of Dean and all the things I did during my 3 days there.

Click here for a link to the snapfish album.

Aunt & Uncle

Dave and I officially have the titles Aunt & Uncle!!  Logan & Laura Phillippe had precious Dean Marshall around 11 pm on Saturday night. He was 8 lbs 5 oz.  Congratulations IL Phillippes!!  We are so excited to meet Dean.

Surprise!

A few weeks ago we celebrated my sister's 35th birthday with a surprise party at which she was proposed to by Michael and then we had a wedding ceremony!! That's right...it was all a surprise to her. Michael and my mom did all the planning without her knowing about it. It was wonderful and she looked beautiful. She loved every minute. We are so excited for her and Michael! Congratulations Sis and Happy Birthday! We love you!!

my techie

At some point this weekend Dave was doing something on the computer and I was asking questions...mostly why questions.  His final response to me was "I am a techie".  It was funny and I responded that I love that about him.  There are many benefits to being married to a computer geek...last night he was able to import our old blog into this one.  Most of the posts are there now, just a few need to be tweaked to work right.  They all come across as being posted by me, but I tried to put his name next to some of them in the subject line.

Thanks hunny!!  You are my favorite techie.

let's try this again

so it's been months and months since I last wrote a post and a few faithful readers have expressed their sadness...hard to believe. but like most things in life, i will choose to believe them and try this thing again.

we've decided to switch to blogger because it's nice and user friendly :)  dave really likes wordpress, but he has lots of experience with it and i do not like paying $10 a year for the domain name when this is free.  i like things that are free!!  plus i recently discovered that for $10 a chicken can be purchased for a family in africa!  just $10!  i was really convicted when i read that because a chicken brings so much to those families.  so we have decided to put our $10 to use for a better cause.

the last several months have been challenging. lots of changes going on in my life and lots of wresting with God over them. i can say it's been growing. i'm learning to trust Him with my circumstances (again), release my unfulfilled longings, let go of my plans for our future family, make margin in my life for Him daily (or trying to do so daily), lay lots of unmet expectations at His feet, trust Him with some challenging relationships, and so on... The big picture in this all is what I am learning about God and what He is trying to teach me about who He is and how He loves me.

a few months back i came across 1 corinthians 13:4-8a. those well known "wedding verses" about love. "Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It is not rude, it is not self seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres. Love never fails." when reading these verses I realized that God was trying to tell me that is what His love for me looks like. i've never really read those verse that way and since i've struggle so much with understanding and believing that God loves me, it has helped (when i will meditate on it) to see the ways that He is so faithfully loving me as He promises.

2 Years Together

Tomorrow we celebrate 2 years since our first date! And in a week we celebrate our 1st anniversary!!  It's hard to believe that it has been a year since we both said "I Do".  I am loving it!