let's try this again

so it's been months and months since I last wrote a post and a few faithful readers have expressed their sadness...hard to believe. but like most things in life, i will choose to believe them and try this thing again.

we've decided to switch to blogger because it's nice and user friendly :)  dave really likes wordpress, but he has lots of experience with it and i do not like paying $10 a year for the domain name when this is free.  i like things that are free!!  plus i recently discovered that for $10 a chicken can be purchased for a family in africa!  just $10!  i was really convicted when i read that because a chicken brings so much to those families.  so we have decided to put our $10 to use for a better cause.

the last several months have been challenging. lots of changes going on in my life and lots of wresting with God over them. i can say it's been growing. i'm learning to trust Him with my circumstances (again), release my unfulfilled longings, let go of my plans for our future family, make margin in my life for Him daily (or trying to do so daily), lay lots of unmet expectations at His feet, trust Him with some challenging relationships, and so on... The big picture in this all is what I am learning about God and what He is trying to teach me about who He is and how He loves me.

a few months back i came across 1 corinthians 13:4-8a. those well known "wedding verses" about love. "Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It is not rude, it is not self seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres. Love never fails." when reading these verses I realized that God was trying to tell me that is what His love for me looks like. i've never really read those verse that way and since i've struggle so much with understanding and believing that God loves me, it has helped (when i will meditate on it) to see the ways that He is so faithfully loving me as He promises.