God’s Purpose or Mine?

Dave has been reading "My Upmost For His Highest" each morning by Oswald Chamberg. He shared one of the devotionals from this week with me and I wanted to pass it along.

He made His disciples get into the boat and go before Him to the other side . . . Mark 6:45


We tend to think that if Jesus Christ compels us to do something and we are obedient to
Him, He will lead us to great success. We should never have the thought that our dreams
of success are God’s purpose for us. In fact, His purpose may be exactly the opposite. We
have the idea that God is leading us toward a particular end or a desired goal, but He is
not. The question of whether or not we arrive at a particular goal is of little importance, and
reaching it becomes merely an episode along the way. What we see as only the process of
reaching a particular end, God sees as the goal itself.

What is my vision of God’s purpose for me? Whatever it may be, His purpose is for me to
depend on Him and on His power now. If I can stay calm, faithful, and unconfused while in
the middle of the turmoil of life, the goal of the purpose of God is being accomplished in
me. God is not working toward a particular finish— His purpose is the process itself. What
He desires for me is that I see "Him walking on the sea" with no shore, no success, nor
goal in sight, but simply having the absolute certainty that everything is all right because I
see "Him walking on the sea" (Mark 6:49). It is the process, not the outcome, that is
glorifying to God.

God’s training is for now, not later. His purpose is for this very minute, not for sometime in
the future. We have nothing to do with what will follow our obedience, and we are wrong to
concern ourselves with it. What people call preparation, God sees as the goal itself.
God’s purpose is to enable me to see that He can walk on the storms of my life right now. If
we have a further goal in mind, we are not paying enough attention to the present time.
However, if we realize that moment-by-moment obedience is the goal, then each moment
as it comes is precious.

Time for some Dixie lovin'

It's been way to long since our last post and since we started this blog back in December our beloved dog Dixie has not received any internet lovin', so I thought I would tackle those two topics.

So, who is Dixie?  Well, she's Stephanie's favorite pet!  Well almost...  Yes, Stephanie loves Dixie, she's just not used to having a dog for a pet.  Stephanie is cat lover first, Dave lover second, dog lover third!

Dixie is a black lab/australian shepherd mix.  I got her from my brother back in 2000 and we've had lots of fun chasing squirrels and rabbits and sharing 12hr road trips to Illinois together.  We are in the process of bringing Stephanie into this relationship and I think it's going pretty well!  Maybe you should ask Stephanie though ;-)

Dave: One Year Ago (by Dave)

One year ago today I was on a trail getting ready to exit the back country of the Grand Teton National Park.  My friend DK and I had just spent 3 nights hiking and camping the Teton Crest Trail.  It was an exiting hike, full of awesome mountains, lakes and animals.  We decided to cut our hike a day short and go visit Yellowstone National Park before heading back to Dallas.  I'm sure glad I did!

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As I sat that night in my warm cozy bed to journal, I wrote down Psalm 27:14 - "Wait for the LORD; be strong and take heart and wait for the LORD."  I knew God was moving in my life, he had provided a job and I would be starting in 2 weeks and I had met Stephanie and I was falling for her.  I didn't know how the next year would play out.  All I knew was that I needed to stay the course He had me on...

Today, I have been at my job almost one year, and I am married to Stephanie.  We are celebrating 7 weeks together and I still hear God saying those words to me.  As Stephanie and I learn to communicate and live together I am learning more about myself and the need to wait and trust in Him.

Psalm 28:7 - "The LORD is my strength and my shield; my heart trusts in him, and I am helped. My heart leaps for joy and I will give thanks to him in song.

There is always a reason to celebrate and sing!

Ice Cream

In a desperate attempt to keep from gaining marriage weight...we have decided to take up a few activities. This is much needed since my wife loves ice cream and is even willing to ditch her favorite flavor vanilla for my chocolate weakness just so that she is not eating it alone. With a regular diet of ice cream, the LBs are just around the corner. Our first step...a weekly bike ride around the neighborhood.

A recipe of Faith (by Dave)

This is combination of thoughts I've had over the last week or so and wanted to get them written down and share them because they are flowing from the heart. Thanks Stephanie for encouraging me through your own writings of the heart!

What is faith? Being sure of what you hope, or maybe being certain of what you cannot see? Why is it so hard for us to get our arms around faith. Maybe it's because we pursue something strongly with determination and then quickly let go of it when things don't turn out like we hoped or circustances change. For me faith is exactly what I stated at the start. In fact, I quoted Hebrews 11:1. For me, this short and breif statement of faith is what has driven many of the things I call successes in my life over the last 3-4 years. I say that because it has empowerd me to be a better leader, it has helped me to purse a woman and it has given me great confidence in the face of the tough world in which you and I live in. God's word also states in Hebrews 11:6 that, "And without faith it is impossible to please God, because anyone who comes to him must believe that he exists and that he rewards those who earnestly seek him." For me, faith is not apart from God, it comes through a relationship with Him. This relationship is what gives me feedback to the faith I am developing as I grow.

Some of you might have read in that verse that God will reward us for our faith.  Now some would like to say that this reward will come first and foremost in this life. But, I don't agree that God would intend that since he wants us all to be with him and share in these blessing with us. These rewards are meant for heaven and we must remain grounded in that so as to remain humble in this place he has us. But it's hard for me to understand that concept when I feel like God has rewarded my faith in Him through the pursuit of a woman by delivering a wonderful marriage to Stephanie. I don't know how to explain that I feel very blessed by Him in this life with a wife, when I'm not sure what that will look like in heaven. Do I think he has a handle on this, yes. Do I believe that commitment I made to Stephanie will remain in heaven, in some form or another, yes I do. I guess that's what faith is to me. I know that if I believe in the things God has designed, like marriage and heaven, then He'll take care of all the details and let me know what to do as I make my way. So for me, faith is a very intergral part in how I live life. Don't go get faith for rewards in this life, like a wife or a job, or whatever else you think you need, because I don't believe God will honor that sort of thinking. But, go get faith to find the answers you are seeking now in your current situation. Jesus said in Matthew 6:33-34, "But seek first His kingdom and His righteousness, and all these things will be given to you as well. Therefore do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own."

So how do you get faith. I wish I could tell you exactly how, but since He has created us all differently I can't say for sure. I do know that Proverbs 3:5-6 gives us an answer. It says, "Trust in the LORD with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding; in all your ways acknowledge him, and he will make your paths straight." Growth in faith for me was and continues to be a continuous trusting in God in the presence of a wonderful church called Watermark and an amazing community of friends. During this time I was able to let go of looking to test my faith against the responses I would look for in the world and instead turn to this support structure and God for feedback. There is no doubt that God does use others to share His message with us. Don't try to live this life on your own. It's too hard and too stressful and you will fail. Invite God and others into what's going on and in time you will start to gain faith in yourself and the things "you hope for" and "cannot see".

Making Connections

Dave and I recently decided to read through the book of John together. Each Sunday we read a chapter and talk about it. I am sad to admit that I have never read through John before and that I have never really studied the life of Jesus. Kind of important don’t you think? I am just excited to be getting started now and with my husband (that is so fun to say!).

It was just about two years ago that I started to really dive into the Bible. I had done many “bible studies” before, but often found my self struggling for connection and interest. The first time I got really excited about what I learned from His word was when I was in a small community group and we began working through a book called Understanding the Bible in 30 Days. I was hooked, however still not disciplined to finish it all (maybe I should go back and start over). Anyway, for the first time I began to connect with the people of the Bible. I began to understand how much I was like them and how not so different their lives were from mine. It was amazing. Over the next year I would continue to study the Old Testament and learn about the Israelites. If you have been blessed as I have by their story, you can say with me “I am an Israelite.” I have been rescued by God, trusted Him fully and then turned away in disbelief. I have wondered in more than one “desert” for way too long only to discover that if I had just realized my sin and deep need for God, that perhaps the suffering would have been so much less. But I am stubborn and chose to not remember. Thankfully, I have community to remind me and my times of wondering are much shorter!

In our first two chapters of reading John I was so curious to learn more John the Baptist. I knew a bit about his ministry: that he baptized Jesus and that he was killed because of what he preached, but that was about it. I was still having trouble connecting. It was this past Sunday that I made the connection that John the Baptist was the son of Zachariah & Elizabeth (the older couple who couldn’t have kids and then did). And this meant John the Baptist was Jesus’ relative (not exactly sure how). Elizabeth is the relative that Mary visited when she was pregnant. It was on that visit when Elizabeth’s baby “leaped in her womb” (Luke 1:41) upon Mary’s arrival. How cool is it that even in the womb, John the Baptist knew the Messiah! YES – I had made my connection!! All I can say is God is really into the details!
Oh wow, so this is why I write these posts...in this moment I am humbled to say and share with you that God revealed to me just now one way I am created in His image…I am detailed oriented.

Last night I was blessed to listen to a sweet friend share her story in front of hundreds of people. As she spoke, she shared about a community circle she was a part of that had learned to celebrate everything together, even the small stuff. For me, seeing my detailedness as a characteristic of Him is a small victory, well worth celebrating. Thank you Father for sticking by me, even when I doubt!

I've Forgotten

It’s June 9th today and tomorrow Dave and I will have been married a month! It goes by so fast. The wedding turned out just as we would have hoped with very few hang ups. Dave tells me to be proud of myself for all the hard work and how it turned out, but if you know me…that’s hard. I tend to pick at the things that were not just right instead of enjoying the beauty of it all. God, being our loving creator, knows this about me and thus blessed me with Dave who sees the beauty all around him. He notices the flowers, how green the trees are and when the birds start chirping again. He loves the creation we were given to be a part of and that’s good for me. I once mentioned to Dave that he always saw the glass as half full and he replied “not really, I’m just glad there is water in the glass”. That is joy. We want life to be happy, but God does not promise happiness, but joy. We are to be joyful because as believers our glasses will always have water in them…God. He’s always there, always cares, always listens, always loves, is always dependable, always trustworthy, and is all we need. John 4:14 says "but whoever drinks the water I give him will never thirst. Indeed, the water I give him will become in him a spring of water welling up to eternal life." Oh to realize and rest in the hope of eternal life each and every day. Is it possible for us to let go and let Him fill our glasses and keep them full? Do we doubt he is capable?

I’ve been discouraged lately with my lack of believing Him and my lack of letting go so that He can fill me. I still believe in Him, but I have been struggling to trust in His plan. I’ve been struggling to believe that if I would step out of my “comfort zone” (even that which is causing stress and pain) that He would hold my hand and not lead me astray. Like the Israelites that were rescued by God from the hands of captivity and almost immediately forgot, I sit here today nearly paralyzed by my own fear of failure having forgotten how faithful He was just a short while ago when I was in another “comfort zone” that kept me in depression and isolation. God rescued me. He parted the Red Sea in my life and rescued me from the captivity of guilt and shame. How could I forget?

At the end of my last post I quoted a dear friend..."Believe, it’s worth it". This past weekend my friend boldly shared her story with our church body. I am so proud of her. I know how she is so authentic in her life, yet I know it's very vulnerable to share your story with 3,000 people. As I would have expected, her story was titled Worth It. Her anthem is Life is a process! She reminds me of this often and like other things...I forget. I want to be "perfect" now. I want things to be "fixed now" and have “perfect” faith now. But life is a process and God intended it that way so that we would learn to depend whole heartedly on and in Him. There are so called successes and failures in life and growing pains associates with both. We must let go and believe God in the midst and not just once we think we have it all figured out. We need only to accept His Son once to receive eternal life, but we must drink of His water each and everyday so that we can receive the strength and faith He gives. Will we choose to believe that there is water for our thirst everyday?

Oh Lord, forgive me for forgetting. Thank you for your grace that I need each and every morning and give me a heart that believes you and loves you above all else! Help me to remember your faithfulness in my life and in the lives of those I share life with.