I've Forgotten

It’s June 9th today and tomorrow Dave and I will have been married a month! It goes by so fast. The wedding turned out just as we would have hoped with very few hang ups. Dave tells me to be proud of myself for all the hard work and how it turned out, but if you know me…that’s hard. I tend to pick at the things that were not just right instead of enjoying the beauty of it all. God, being our loving creator, knows this about me and thus blessed me with Dave who sees the beauty all around him. He notices the flowers, how green the trees are and when the birds start chirping again. He loves the creation we were given to be a part of and that’s good for me. I once mentioned to Dave that he always saw the glass as half full and he replied “not really, I’m just glad there is water in the glass”. That is joy. We want life to be happy, but God does not promise happiness, but joy. We are to be joyful because as believers our glasses will always have water in them…God. He’s always there, always cares, always listens, always loves, is always dependable, always trustworthy, and is all we need. John 4:14 says "but whoever drinks the water I give him will never thirst. Indeed, the water I give him will become in him a spring of water welling up to eternal life." Oh to realize and rest in the hope of eternal life each and every day. Is it possible for us to let go and let Him fill our glasses and keep them full? Do we doubt he is capable?

I’ve been discouraged lately with my lack of believing Him and my lack of letting go so that He can fill me. I still believe in Him, but I have been struggling to trust in His plan. I’ve been struggling to believe that if I would step out of my “comfort zone” (even that which is causing stress and pain) that He would hold my hand and not lead me astray. Like the Israelites that were rescued by God from the hands of captivity and almost immediately forgot, I sit here today nearly paralyzed by my own fear of failure having forgotten how faithful He was just a short while ago when I was in another “comfort zone” that kept me in depression and isolation. God rescued me. He parted the Red Sea in my life and rescued me from the captivity of guilt and shame. How could I forget?

At the end of my last post I quoted a dear friend..."Believe, it’s worth it". This past weekend my friend boldly shared her story with our church body. I am so proud of her. I know how she is so authentic in her life, yet I know it's very vulnerable to share your story with 3,000 people. As I would have expected, her story was titled Worth It. Her anthem is Life is a process! She reminds me of this often and like other things...I forget. I want to be "perfect" now. I want things to be "fixed now" and have “perfect” faith now. But life is a process and God intended it that way so that we would learn to depend whole heartedly on and in Him. There are so called successes and failures in life and growing pains associates with both. We must let go and believe God in the midst and not just once we think we have it all figured out. We need only to accept His Son once to receive eternal life, but we must drink of His water each and everyday so that we can receive the strength and faith He gives. Will we choose to believe that there is water for our thirst everyday?

Oh Lord, forgive me for forgetting. Thank you for your grace that I need each and every morning and give me a heart that believes you and loves you above all else! Help me to remember your faithfulness in my life and in the lives of those I share life with.